This written companion comes from my five AI regrets. Start with one activity, not a position on AI in general.
Three questions, in your own words
- What result do I want? A finished note, an organized plan, a song, a decision?
- What part of doing it matters to me? Remembering someone, practicing a skill, time with my child, exercising judgment?
- What part would I gladly remove? Formatting, collecting materials, getting unstuck on a first step?
Answer before asking AI for its opinion. The answers are the material you want to preserve.
Choose where the help goes
| What matters here | A useful place for AI |
|---|---|
| A routine result I can check | Draft or organize the work, then verify it. |
| My taste, judgment, or relationship | Begin myself; ask for questions or clarification afterward. |
| Learning or making together | Help with preparation and troubleshooting; keep the practice. |
A thank-you note, for example: first write the specific thing the person did and why it mattered. Then ask AI to tidy the wording while keeping your meaning. Reject any added memory or feeling you didn’t supply.
A family project: use AI to suggest a manageable first session. Keep choosing, making, and trying things together as part of the activity.
Optional prompt, after your answers
I want help with one activity without losing the part I value doing myself.
The activity:
The result I want:
The experience, practice, or relationship I want to keep:
The friction I would gladly remove:
Suggest three specific ways AI could help with the friction. For each, explain
whether it might also take over something I said I want to keep. Ask if my
boundary is unclear. Do not produce the final artifact yet.Run a small comparison
Try your chosen approach once. Afterward, ask whether you got the result and the experience you wanted. If it felt emptier despite being faster, move the boundary. If you finally started something you’d been avoiding, that is useful evidence too.
For the other side of the question, try one use worth keeping. Sometimes assistance opens a new experience rather than taking an existing one away.